Our desires are like waves on the shore

I know IT is all meaningless, all of it; these sexual desires are fleeting, just an in-the-moment feeling and is not even representative of my feelings towards you and towards myself because I respect you.

I respect that one day, you will get married and that woman may not be me, and one day I, too, will get married and it will pain us both (with our respective future partners too) if we keep up with how intimate we have been —- and we are intimate, I feel, even if we never have had sex.

Because why be 1% pure — just by non-committal of having sex, of that one act-? When God decrees for us to be pure, not just that 1% but the FULL 100% as seen:

”For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.” (1 Thes 4:3-5)

”Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.” (1 Peter 2:11)

So many other verses talk about fleeing sexual immorality 1 Cor 6:18, Romans 13:13-14 I shan’t name them all, I’m sure you, dear reader is able to look them up yourself.

And not just the act of sexual immorality, but I’ve come to realise.. of NOT watching shows/movies/motion pictures with sex/sensual scenes helps me to fight against these desires. I believe and really want to act on it (more so now than prior to this), that is, to feed my mind with wholesome content, nay not just what I see but what I hear and what I talk to people about. (I know, i know, i cannot control what comes out of people’s mouths and it is not anyone’s fault should they say something which makes me, in turn, lust.) But, rather that I want to have more guard and control over the things I speak about that all my conversations, both in secret and out in the open so that I may glorify Him and how it is said in the verses, for us to be pure.

Training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age (Titus 2:12)

To the pure, all things are pure, but to the defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure; but both their minds and their consciences are defiled. (Titus 1:15)

How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. (Psalm 119:9)

But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matt 5:28)

For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. (Galatians 5:17)

I’ve come to desire to glorify God more, by the by. It has taken me time to realise that nothing truly pleases me, to last a life time- not money, or achievements or desires or pride, or people even! EXCEPT when I am pleasing God. That- truly pleases me and I can still remember the joy, jubilee and pleasure I felt the first time I did as God commanded. And i still feel it today, it never goes away, it is everlasting. AND, it is said in the Bible that the purpose of creation of man was for God’s glory:

Isaiah 43:7 says, ”everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made”

I really want us to set a firm boundary and do so, not because its ‘the right thing to do’ but because it is the right thing to do, according to God; our king, the beginning and the end.


“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ― Oscar Wilde

I’m scared to be me. Honestly, what if people think I’m so weird and they don’t wanna be my friend. Ugh there are so many thoughts in my head about being me or being an acceptable version of me.

Besides, being me is so weird (yes even I find myself weird or maybe it’s cause I know what’s normal which makes me think that whatever I do IS weird?? Does that make sense):

I’ve talked to random people in the train stations, i ask why even though i know the answer to a question, but i just don’t know why is it that answer; you get me?

There are so many other oddball things only i do, or, at least it seems that way in my family.

i think people who are 100% themselves to other people are courageous. Because they put themselves out there for people to criticise, to understand, to find.