Not the future, or the plan ahead?

People are always a forward moving, a future seeking population, eager for the next future thing or object or even life after death.

For awhile, i just wanted to focus on the temporary; to get lost in the now, the current and the present. #YOLO

The question I’ve been asking myself is: Is it possibru, to get lost in the now; without remembering the past or planning for the future? 

In life, we experience so so much, and situations and people affect us in so many ways. For better or for worse, and the thing is, we bring it forward. Everything i have ever experienced has been brought forward; like accounting, bringing forward the balances of a previous day, to the next and the next and the next, and it goes on. And we hardly stop and think; EVALUATE, that is–What is it that makes me who i am today? Is it my decisions only in the present? Or was it everything up until now..

I think the irony in wanting to focus on the now is that we can’t just focus on the now. At least, I can’t. To focus on the present without acknowledging the past is like having something, handed to you, without going through the intricate process of how it came to be. You don’t quite understand it, you never will, and it’s just there, in your hand. Something without sentiment and value.

AS much as I tried to only focus on the now, I couldn’t quite do it. There is the past and future which will affect it. They will always be factors in the equation to get the result of our present actions.

But, don’t get me wrong, I DO do things, without over-thinking. And, more so lately, due to an inspiring friend of mine who lives out ‘CARPE DIEM’ every day. This friend, X lives out and lives with the most ‘just-do-it’ mentality i have ever seen anyone have. His common phrase he says is, ‘GO for it!’ in his Straya accent, and I have been GOing for things more lately; living in the moment, and trying out different things is tiring, but also wonderfully free. I’m starting small though (to which i can imagine him rolling his eyes at and challenging me to ‘GO big!’), because I haven’t quite gotten the hang of doing things i want, responsibly. Something valuable i have learnt though is that, I am capable of so much more than I have ever known, and it is Empowering. Having that self-validation that ‘I had this in me all along??!’ is so surprising, in a very positive way.

The past makes me who I am, and also serves as a reminder that Today, I can be better, today, I have a new start. 

I am (trying to) live for the present, ever growing and becoming better at what I am passionate about, I am living in the now. I am decreasingly worried about what tomorrow will bring, because even if i DO know, so what? Each day has enough of its own worries already. I’ll let God handle my future.

And the future, will be. And I can’t change it by wishing about things today. I can only live in the best way i can today. 

Lastly, thank you X (: