Beyond the present – the 3 month mark

Chapter 6

THERE’S THAT MOMENT in everyone’s life where you just stop and think..

about who you are, what you’re doing, who you’ve become, why you’re doing stuff you’ve never done before and is it all worth it.

Because, here I Am wondering if you’re that worth it; and when did i start to telling lies.. especially to my mom.

Its hurting me and my relationship with God. And although there’s that voice inside me saying live like there’s no consequences, how You want to. I know, deep down..that that is not how i want to live. I want to live With consequences, knowing that my actions causes a wave somewhere else, to live with positive impact.

..And i think I got my checkmate..but I’m not sure if I’m ready to take out the King.

When my sister left to study in Liverpool, UK; I didnt cry at the airport although everyone else was crying. I gave logical reasons to my eldest sister who was bawling away about why i did not cry. And nearing 3 months upon her absence, it dawned on me..she would be; no, she Is away for 9 months. The first time in my then 21 years of living with her that she has been away for for so long. I cried then.

So here’s my 3 month (Nov 2) mark into my relationship with this 23 year old..coming up in less than a month. And it’s only now that I’ve realized, “SHIT! What did I do?! And who is this boy I’m in a relationship with..Oh My Word!!!! SHITTTTTT!

But, I like holding your hand, I like it when you walk with me and when you smile with that twinkle in your eye. Does it matter that much though? Do you really matter that much though?