THOUGHTS OF MINE FLOATING AROUND MY HEAD, BEFORE I DOZE OFF
Sometimes i wonder..what would i be like today if my father had not touched me: Maybe I would be normal now (but what is normal anyway??) Maybe I would not shy away from adult men so much (I especially detest those who flick their tongue about while they’re speaking, it makes them seem so creepy; to me anyway) Maybe I would not be so insecure walking near men in a skirt (I do like to wear skirts so though, sigh) Maybe I would not be so negative towards the male species (okay, wait, this one is a definite…right?) Maybe I would not feel like a do not deserve a relationship (because I have been touched before, I feel like I am a secondhand girl) Maybe I would not feel so dirty (I don’t quite know why but I always feel dirty when I see my father’s hand on my mom) Maybe I would actually trust people (And I’m not just saying men here. It sucks not being able to trust those around me) ETC. There are so many more IF’s and MAYBE’s…
..Life taught me a cruel lesson
and I’ll be dmned if I don’t learn it.
A cancelled page, some cancelled words does not mean it did not happen, does not mean I have forgotten; but I want to move on now..or at least, Try.